Adopting: Shy or Fearful Dogs

Body Language

Dogs communicate primarily through body language and behavior. A scared or stressed dog may lower their head, pant, lean away, flatten their ears against their head, lick their lips, show the whites of their eyes, tuck their tail or lift their paw. If your dog is showing these signs, give them space.

To learn more about dog body language, visit our dog body language playlist on YouTube.

Appropriate Interactions

When we meet another person, we look them in the eyes and will often offer a handshake or hug. However, these behaviors can be intimidating or seen as a challenge in dog language.

The most dog-friendly way to interact with an unfamiliar dog is to allow them to come up to you when they choose, avoid eye contact and avoid looming or reaching over them. Keep your hands and all parts of your body in front of your dog where they can see them. Additionally, avoid approaching dogs directly by turning your body and offering your side, lowering to the ground and crouching or kneeling instead.

Finally, your face should never be near your dog’s face, as this makes dogs highly uncomfortable and can be dangerous.

Avoid Causing Fear

Keep your dog as comfortable as possible by doing the following:

• Move slowly. Quick movements can cause your dog to startle, which may make them fearful of you. Move slowly when interacting with your dog. If your dog startles, remain calm and continue to move slowly.
• Don’t “surprise pet” or “sneak” a few pets in while your dog isn’t looking. Petting your shy dog when they are asleep or not paying attention will most likely come as an unpleasant surprise. Make sure all interactions are predictable and consensual.
• Keep distance between your dog and “scary” things. If your dog is fearful of men, garbage trucks or lawn mowers, avoid these things.
• Avoid too many stressors. Imagine you spill your coffee, lose your keys and get a flat tire on the way to work. After experiencing these events one after another, you’re likely going to be more irritable and take longer to recover due to compounded stress. This is called “trigger stacking,” and the same thing happens to dogs. If your dog is uncomfortable with something in their environment, identify, remove or reduce potential triggers (stressors) by creating space and moving away.

Form Positive Associations

To help your dog feel less fearful of things they perceive as scary, help them learn to associate “scary” things with positive experiences.

• Space: When it comes to forming a positive association, remain at enough of a distance from the scary thing so that your dog does not appear fearful or uncomfortable. While maintaining this distance, offer your dog a treat each time they turn toward or look at the scary thing. If you observe any fear or discomfort, move further away and expose your dog to the scary thing for a shorter period of time.
• Treats: While your dog is in the presence of a scary thing, it’s important to form a continuous positive association. When a scary thing is present, continue offering treats to your dog. When the scary thing is gone, treats should stop appearing. With consistency and reliability, your dog will begin to form a positive association.
• Repeat: Remember, space is your most important ally when it comes to working on building positive associations. Work at a distance where your dog appears comfortable. This method takes consistency, time and patience.

Create a Safe Space

At home, create a “safe space” for your shy dog in a crate, ex-pen, room or hallway separated by a baby gate. This space should include food, water and an area to rest or hide.

Before a guest comes over, guide your dog to their safe space. When the guest comes in, kindly ask them to ignore your dog and remain at a distance. Then, offer your dog treats, bones, play time with a ball or anything else that will help form a positive association with the arrival of a visitor.

Read and respond to your dog’s body language. If they appear comfortable or “happy,” you may allow them out of their safe space. If your shy dog and your guests will be in the same physical space, coach your guests on interacting with your dog appropriately — this means allowing the dog to come to them, respecting any stress signals and greeting them as described above. Monitor interactions with all guests, especially children.

Never Punish

Aversive punishment that involves yelling, striking, collar jerking or other forms of intimidation often results in unpleasant or negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, stress and frustration. These forms of punishment damage the human-animal bond and are often an ineffective way of communicating.

San Diego Humane Society does not recommend the use of intimidation or other tactics that result in unpleasant or negative emotions to punish behaviors.

Ask For Help

If you need additional support, here are your options:

1. If you adopted your dog from San Diego Humane Society, schedule your free 1-hour  Post Adoption Consultation online over Zoom. We’ll help troubleshoot while providing advice and next steps.
2. Enroll in our live online Shy Dog training class over Zoom. training class over Zoom. 
3. Book an online Private Lesson (1 hour, online over Zoom). Open to everyone, these sessions focus on environmental management, troubleshooting and training exercises. 
4. Find a positive reinforcement trainer who can come to your home to assess the situation. Look for a trainer who specializes in fearful dogs.