The Quick Guide: Shy and Fearful Cats

Causes and Triggers

An important step in helping your shy kitty become more confident is identifying and understanding the things that make them uncomfortable, or their triggers, and helping them avoid those things in the future. Common triggers include loud noises, other animals, new people, children and new objects.

Body Language and Behavior

Cats communicate that they are uncomfortable, stressed or scared through body language and behavior.

Your shy kitty likely shows certain signs of stress, like hiding, having wide eyes with large pupils, freezing or putting their ears back. Noticing these signs will help you understand when your cat is feeling uncomfortable with something in their environment, and you can work to manage it. But keep an eye out for signs of more severe stress in your cat, including:

• Consistent running away or hiding.
• Excessive meowing or extreme change in their meowing habits.
• Signs of extreme fearfulness, aggressive behavior or being shut down.
• Changes to or loss of appetite.
• Sudden disinterest in playing and/or scratching, or other changes in behavior.
• Peeing or pooping outside of the litterbox, spraying or other changes in bathroom habits.
• Decreased grooming, over-grooming, chewing at fur or skin or other forms of self-harm.
• Urinary Tract Infection (UTI): Stress can cause cats to avoid using the litter box or avoid eating/drinking (dehydration), which can then cause UTIs.
• Upper Respiratory Infection (URI) or other illnesses triggered or made worse by stress.
• Other illnesses or medical issues.

These signs warrant a deeper dive into the cause of the stress — visit a veterinarian to diagnose health conditions and work with a certified trainer to help manage their stress going forward.

Tips for Working with Shy Cats

• Avoid too many stressors. Imagine you spill your coffee, lose your keys and get a flat tire on the way to work. After experiencing these events one after another, you’re likely going to be more irritable and take longer to recover due to compounded stress. This is called “trigger stacking,” and the same thing happens to cats. If your cat is uncomfortable with something, remove or reduce potential triggers (stressors) by creating space and giving them a break.
• Don’t approach when they are busy: Leave your cat be when they are busy, such as when they are playing on their own or closely watching something outside.
• Pheromone diffusers: Use pheromone sprays and diffusers, such as Feliway, to reduce stress.
• Low-pressure interactions: Avoid staring, making direct eye contact or towering over your cat. Don’t force your cat to interact or share space with you.
• Always ask for consent: Avoid forcing your cat out of hiding. Wait for your cat to approach you or solicit affection. (Watch this video on What Consent Looks Like in Cats)
• Use a soothing voice: Avoid making loud noises and speaking in a deep, harsh or shrill voice. Speak softly and calmly.
• Let your cat have a choice: Allow your cat to choose to approach or interact — or not. Don’t force your cat to be pet, especially if they are showing fearful or uncomfortable body language.
• Handle your cat gently: Don’t pick up your cat by the scruff (back of their neck), paws or tail, and make sure that their chest and back legs are supported when you hold them.
• Strengthen your bond through interactive play! Use interactive toys that allow you to play with your cat from a distance — such as a Cat Dancer or wand toys — to engage your cat in chasing, grabbing and catching. 

If your shy cat is not comfortable with interactive play, don’t force it! Let your cat enjoy solo play until they are ready to play with you.

Environmental Management

Here are ways you can set up your home to create a calming, stress-free environment for your shy and fearful cat:

• Provide a safe space: Provide your cat with a quiet room or space with hiding places, cozy blankets, a litter box, food and water. Use calming music to drown out loud noises in the environment. 
• Privacy and places to hide: Offer a variety of hiding options where your cat can hide completely, such as a carrier covered with a towel, a cat tree cubby or a hidey-hole.
• Litter box: Stress can cause litter box issues, especially for shy, sensitive or fearful cats. Place the litter box somewhere convenient for your cat that is not in a busy or noisy area of the home.

Some fearful cats may prefer a covered litter box, while others may feel uncomfortable climbing into one. Once you discover your cat's box, litter and location preference, don’t change it. (For more information, check out: Litter Box 101.)

• Opportunity for solo play: Although interactive play is a great way to bond with your cat, some shy or fearful cats prefer solo play, such as a toy with a ball on a track or a scratching post with toys on an elastic cord. Note: Always supervise your pets when they are playing with toys that have strings or other things that they could swallow or get tangled up in. 
• Somewhere to scratch:  Scratching is an important cat behavior because it serves many purposes, including relieving stress!
  • Offer at least one surface for your cat to scratch. However, offering a variety of different types (scratching posts, flat scratching mats, angled scratching boards, etc.) and textures (carpet, sisal, cardboard) is ideal.

Enrichment!

Providing your pet with enrichment is important to meeting their basic needs and reducing stress.

• Mental enrichment: Mental enrichment is anything that works your pet's brain and fulfills their natural species-specific needs. Think: puzzles, sniffing, foraging and even training! 
• Visual stimulation: Provide a perch near a window where your cat can look outside. You can also use a phone, a TV or a tablet to play “cat videos” to provide visual stimulation.
• The “Cat Prey Sequence” in play:  The cat prey sequence — staring, chasing, pouncing and biting — refers to the order of behaviors cats perform when they catch prey in the wild. Play and activities that allow a cat to complete the entire sequence are ideal because they are the most rewarding for the cat.
• Catnip: If your cat is older than a year, they may have a positive response to catnip, which is an herb that stimulates cats and increases their energy level.
• Training: Through positive reinforcement training, you can stimulate your cat's brain and work their body while building confidence.

Positive Reinforcement and Confidence-Building

You can help your shy cat build their confidence, build positive associations and bond with you through positive reinforcement training.

When your cat is exposed to new sights, sounds, people or experiences, reward your cat with treats. This will help them associate unfamiliar experiences with good things (treats!) while reinforcing their relaxed, calm behavior. Watch this video on Desensitizing a Kitten to Rain and Thunderstorms to see an example of using treats to create positive associations with new sights and sounds.

For more information on desensitization, counter conditioning and confidence-building, check out our Well-Socialized Pet Resources YouTube playlist and Well-Socialized Pet Chats (30 min, online via Zoom).

Options for Support

1. If your cat has access to a large area of the home, confine them to a smaller area, ideally their original safe space. It’s possible that your shy cat gained access to the entire home before they were fully comfortable, causing them to become overwhelmed.
2. If you adopted your cat from San Diego Humane Society, schedule your free 1-hour  Post Adoption Consultation online over Zoom. We’ll help troubleshoot while providing advice and next steps.
3. Enroll in our live online Shy Cat training class over Zoom. 
4. Book an online Private Lesson (1 hour, online over Zoom). Open to everyone, these sessions focus on environmental management, troubleshooting and training exercises. 
5. Find a positive reinforcement trainer who can come to your home to assess the situation. Look for a trainer who specializes in fearful cats.