Calm Behavior at Home
Wouldn't it be nice if my dog could … Relax at home without getting into mischief? Stay calm when guests come over? Just lie by my feet so we could enjoy some quality time together after a hard day? These are all very reasonable goals! The good news is, there are simple exercises you can do right now to promote calm behavior in the home. The key is to reinforce, or reward, what you like and ignore or prevent what you don't (Check out: Stop Unwanted Behavior Without Intimidation). 
All animals, including people and dogs, are going to repeat rewarding behaviors that lead to things they want. Conversely, animals will stop doing behaviors that get ignored or aren’t reinforced (Watch: How Dogs Learn Animation). If you want your dog to be calm in the home, you have to make calm behavior rewarding for them by reinforcing it. Have you ever had a friend or child tell the same joke over and over again just because someone laughed? That's reinforcement! If no one laughed, the joke would die out naturally. (For more information on how dogs learn, check out our YouTube playlist: How Animals Learn & Why Behavior Works!)
Similarly, dogs remember the things that work for them. If nuzzling you gets you to pet them, a dog will continue to nuzzle you to the point that you may find it annoying. Same with jumping, running through the house, getting on the furniture, barking, whining, stealing shoes, etc. Your dog performs these behaviors in the house because they have been reinforced, whether intentionally or not (to learn more about reinforcers and rewards, read this article: Rewards).
Many dogs will escalate behaviors we find annoying to get you to notice them. Any attention from you, even in the form of reprimands, is a powerful reinforcer for dogs. For example, imagine your dog is jumping on you for attention and you say "No!" while pushing them off. From your dog's perspective, the jumping was effective because it caused you to give them attention by looking at them, touching them and talking to them. Some dogs even interpret you pushing them off as the start to a game! Alternatively, if your dog jumps on you and you turn and walk away, your dog will start to learn that jumping is not an effective way to get your attention. But in addition to ignoring behaviors you want to discourage, you also have to remember to actively reward what you'd like your dog to do instead.jpg?revision=1)
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We are all guilty of ignoring dogs when they are peaceful and quiet. Why mess up a good thing, right? But actually, this is a terrific time to go pet your dog or bring them a treat. Let them discover that being calm brings good things.
Of course, there will be undesirable things your dog will find fun and reinforcing without your involvement (getting in the trash, for example). This is because some behaviors are inherently rewarding. When a dog digs in the trash, they may find delicious food scraps, which makes it a naturally valuable behavior to them. That's where good management comes in (switching to a trashcan with a lid, for example).
Now that you know why your dog may be performing behaviors you don’t like, here are a few ways to address those behaviors and encourage your dog to be calm while inside:
Settle Down
The goal of this exercise is for your dog to learn to lie down quietly whenever you are relaxing or ignoring them. What's great about this exercise is that all dogs can do it! It is simply a matter of setting them up for success and waiting for your dog to offer any calm behavior. For a video example of a calm settle, check out: The Calm Settle!
- Gather everything you will need. This includes a leash, a comfortable harness for your dog and a generous amount of pea-sized treats that your dog particularly likes. If you are going to use your dog’s regular kibble, use a portion of their meal so they are hungry, and mix in some high-value treats to make it a little more rewarding. You want your dog to be extra motivated when you first start any training, so the treats need to be tasty. If you would like to teach your dog the “go to your mat” game (see below), you will also need a towel, mat or blanket for your dog to lie on.
- Set the scene: You will need something for YOU to do — a book to read, TV to watch, computer work etc. Be sure to have the treats in your treat pouch or an open container out of your dog’s reach and out of sight so that your dog does not become over-aroused simply because they see you have treats. The idea is for your dog to be calm or even bored. If you're using a mat, lay it on the ground next to where you will be sitting. The mat serves as a visual cue for your dog. Once they understand the exercise, your dog will know that it's time to relax when they see you laying out the mat.
- Set up for success: If your dog likes to chew on the leash, try putting a piece of PVC pipe on the leash or attaching a chew-proof leash to the harness. If your dog is easily distracted by noises or activity outside the windows, start in the quietest part of the home and close the curtains to prevent your dog from seeing and hearing distractions passing by. If your dog is easily excited by high-value treats, use lower value treats to avoid over arousal.
- Bring your dog into the room where you are going to train. Using the leash and collar, go directly to your chair or couch. Sit down with the leash (you may hold the leash in your hand or under your foot). The leash should be loose, so your dog should have just enough length of the leash to be able to stand up or lie down with little room for exploring.
- Start dropping treats on the mat for your dog to find. Drop a small handful of treats when you first begin. Be sure to reward the absence of behaviors you don’t like. For instance, if your dog sometimes barks at you for attention or chews on the leash and they aren't doing either of those things, reward that! Even if it appears that you are rewarding “nothing,” that’s okay — it means your dog is not doing the things you don’t like! The goal is for your dog to continue doing "nothing" and remain relaxed.
- As you drop treats for your dog being calm, just sit quietly near them. You should drop treats every 3-10 seconds , depending on your dog’s attention span. The shorter the attention span, the faster the treats should happen when you first start — you can slow them down later. During this process, be sure you are not talking to
- While pretending not to pay attention to your dog, carefully watch for any calming behaviors, such as sitting near you or laying down. If your dog becomes bored enough to lie down — perfect! Give them a “jackpot”
(about four to six small treats)! Pro tip: Sprinkle the treats between their front paws to encourage them to continue laying down. Whether they are lying down or calmly sitting, be sure to reinforce all calmness by placing a couple of treats right in front of them so that they eat them off of the mat and don't have to stand up or move to reach the treats. Do not add “good dog,” make eye contact or pet them, as this can cause excitement. The idea is to get your dog to stay put while being quiet. - Change location: After about 5-10 minutes of successful calm behavior without any excitable behavior, gather your stuff and move yourself and your dog to another location in the same room. Sit down without talking to your dog and wait again for them to settle down in the new place. Reinforce with treats when they do. Gradually increase the time between treats.
- Add a release word: If you or your dog get tired of this and want to end the exercise, tell your dog, "All Done" or "Free," in a matter-of-fact tone of voice and turn them loose (For information about the importance of your tone of voice, check out this video on How to use Your Voice as a Training Tool). If you are using a mat, pick up the mat and put it out of sight until next time.
- Practice with and without a mat: Once you are successful with this exercise using a mat, you can start to practice without the mat. Your dog will learn that when you are busy, they should relax and lie down, wherever you might be. You can still use your mat when you would like your dog to have something comfortable to lie on or to give them a visual cue in more distracting environments. But practice without it as well, so your dog doesn’t develop too strong of an association with the mat when settling down. We want your dog to be able to relax, even when you're not around to put down a mat.
- Increase difficulty: After your dog is good at resting with you sitting down, practice it while standing with your dog on leash. This will teach them resting is a good thing, even when you are standing. All your dog has to do is lie down and good things will happen. Eventually, this will become such a habit that they won’t even think about the treats — it will become something they do, just in case the treats might appear from the sky!
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your dog, touching them or making eye contact with them. All of these can be arousing and exciting to dogs and the goal is to get your dog to relax by maintaining low arousal levels. If your dog barks or whines, pretend you do not hear (or care!). If your dog nuzzles you, ignore it. If your dog jumps on you, gently lean forward or stand up slowly, so they drop off without you having to touch them with your hands, look at them or talk to them. Refuse to acknowledge any attempts to get your attention. The moment they give up and stop trying to get your attention, reward with treats!
Go to Your Mat
Introduce the verbal cue, “Go to your mat,” if you would like your dog to settle away from you, such as when you are fixing a meal or when you are eating.
To accomplish this behavior, practice Settle Down using a towel or mat. As your dog starts to associate Settle Down with the mat, they should start offering to go to their mat whenever it is placed on the floor. The presence of the mat becomes the visual cue. This is a great behavior to reward with lots of treats as long as they are on the mat. The rewards should stop if they get off the mat.
Once your dog is reliably offering this behavior, you may add the verbal cue, “Go to your mat,” when you are sure your dog will do the behavior the first time you ask. You will now be able to use the mat in different areas, as well as when you travel or want your dog to be able to relax quickly.
The Joys of Food Puzzle Toys
When does your dog lie still? "Ha, never!" you might think, and it's probably true for large chunks of the day. What
about when they are chewing on something? Don't almost all dogs lie down to chew?
Food puzzle enrichment toys, when paired with additional efforts to help your pup decompress and relax, can be an almost magical solution! They are long-lasting and, by their very nature, are different each time because you refill them with different food temptations. The idea is to stuff these toys so well that your dog will have to work on them for a good hour or longer at a time.
A dog who is laying on the floor working on their food puzzle is not running through the house, jumping on people, barking, getting on the furniture or stealing your shoes! By association, your dog begins to learn that being in the house is the time to relax and work on some puzzles.
After a good chew session, most dogs are truly tired — mentally and physically — and are more likely to remain calm for even a little while longer. Food puzzle toys are a great way to buy you and your family some peace and quiet AND begin to teach your dog to relax.
A great option is a rubber hollow Kong. It's indestructible and can easily be cleaned and used over and over again. Check out our Kong stuffing pointers, Kong Stuffing 101 video or the Kong website for clever ideas on how to stuff the Kong to keep your dog's interest for long periods of time. Also keep in mind that Kongs are great vessels for feeding your dog their meals — it keeps them mentally engaged for longer and requires them to work for their food, which will burn excess energy. For more ideas, check out our YouTube playlist: Enrichment Resources.
How to Use Leashes, Crates, Pens and Gates
Set yourself up for success. Think of practical ways you can prevent undesirable behaviors until you can get your training in place. It's OK to let your dog wear a leash or longer "house line" attached to a harness so you can lead them from restricted areas. Just make sure someone is paying enough attention to keep the dog from getting tangled.
Simply stepping on the leash or dragline can restrict your dog's access so they can't jump on you. However, only step on the leash before they jump, not as they are jumping. This will prevent frightening or injuring your dog by yanking them down abruptly (For more information on why we should avoid aversive methods, check out this article on Dog Training Aversives: What Are They & Why Avoid Them? and this video on Positive Punishment). To prevent injuring your dog's neck or esophagus, only do this if the leash is attached to a harness, not a collar. Calmly picking up the end of the leash will prevent all kinds of chase and "keep away" games, and will give you an easy way to remove your dog from furniture without confrontation or intimidation. Just be sure to reward with treats when your dog comes to you, gets off the furniture or follows you on the leash. We want them to associate coming to you and following you with good things!
If you rely on lunging for and grabbing their collar to stop your dog from getting into mischief, your dog will learn to avoid coming too close to you and will easily outmaneuver you. Also, this can make your dog more excited, or worse, scared of you, and you more frustrated and annoyed! Set up ways to manage unwanted behaviors, so you can remain calm and prepared.
Tethers, crates and exercise pens are great ways to begin to teach a dog to be calm in a house. Crates, when introduced properly, are terrific "holding areas" (like a playpen or crib for a baby) for up to a few hours at a time (Check out these videos: Crate Training Tips and The Importance of Choice in Animal Training).
Restricting access via baby gates and exercise pens can also help keep your dog away from restricted areas in the home. Make sure you give your dog something to do (a puzzle toy, a food puzzle toy, a bone, etc.) while they are confined so they have a positive association with the calm, quiet time (Check out these videos: Puppy Pen Set Up and Train Your Dog to be Calm in a Pen). Be sure your dog also gets these things (puzzle toys, food puzzle toys, bones, etc.) outside of confinement and in other contexts to maintain a positive association with these things and to prevent your dog from thinking enrichment equals crate. We don't want your dog to stop enjoying enrichment because they only get it in the crate or when left alone.
A tether can be as simple as a leash tied to a doorknob or sturdy piece of furniture or an inexpensive 18-inch cable. Make sure you are within eyesight when a dog is on a tether to prevent choking, tangling and other dangers. If you're unable to supervise your dog, opt for a play pen, exercise pens or baby gates, instead of a tether (According to California Health & Safety Code § 122335, tethering a dog for long periods of time can result in a warning or
misdemeanor. For more info, visit: https://www.animallaw.info/statutes/us/california).
Dogs generally make the best of any situation. If their only option for entertainment is the toys or chews you provide them, they will usually settle down for a nap. Take advantage of this by restricting your dog's access during periods when you'd like them to be calm. This is much clearer to your dog than YOU “joining in on the fun” by chasing and yelling!
More Help
Want to learn more about teaching your dog to settle down and relax? Check out our Reactive Rover: Mat Work class that focuses on addressing reactivity in the home or yard
A good trainer, who is well-versed in modern positive reinforcement methods, can teach you lots more than you can learn in one article (Check out these videos: How To Pick A Trainer 101 and How To Find A Trainer Who Won't Harm Your Pet). San Diego Humane Society offers online and in-person Pet Training Classes. Enroll online to reserve a place for you and your pooch, or call 619-279-5961 if you have questions about which class is right for you!